"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas A. Edison
Ever since I was a little girl, my dream was to help people. As I grew older, I made many wrong decisions in my life that led me off the beaten path and ironically enough, I was the one in need of help. I went through trials and often suffering that created a downward spiral of low self-esteem, confusion, anxiety, and unworthiness that often resulted in depression. This was an ongoing dilemma that complicated my life for many years...
Rejection and struggleLife wasn't easy from the beginning.... It started out, that I was adopted as a newborn baby by parents who were 48 and 49 years old. But despite knowing that my parents loved me, adoption gave me the feeling of rejection and misplacement as a child growing up. I also had eye problems which led to surgery, therapy and thick glasses...which didn't do a lot for a young girl's self esteem. I had issues with a bad temper and jealousy. As a teenager, I got involved with the wrong crowd, which quickly led into rebellion, and substance abuse. I married at a young age to an abuser and drug addict. After a couple of years and a baby (which forced me to clean up) I went into hiding, in fear of my life and eventually filed for a divorce. I then decided to attended college which only lasted for about a year, then decided to drop out so that I could work to make ends meet. I married again several years later, believing I had improved my life situation, only to find that it was another abusive relationship, but this time verbal instead of physical. After a number of years, and an intentional improvement in my career path, I decided to divorce again. By this time, I truly had made some significant growth in my life, however my self esteem and confidence were still lacking. I was currently holding a job at a major financial institution as a manager, owned my own house and was a proud single mother of three amazing daughters. It was the beginning of my discovery to the meaning of life, relationships and my spirituality.
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Expect the unexpectedWhen I was 32, I believed that I was on the right path...but without warning, my life was turned upside down! I met my husband and the love of my life, David, while he was attending his flight school training in the states. Yes, the states as in the U.S.! He was from Germany! It only took about a week and we fell madly in love with one another! After a whirlwind romance, we married a year later, packed up and moved to Germany, with two of my three children and another one on the way. I began the next 13 years of my life in a foreign country, learning a foreign language and raising a family in a very different cultural environment. Sounds exciting, right? Well, it was HARD! Especially having left my second daughter back in the U.S. with her father and then having new in-laws that were not accepting of their son's decision to marry a divorcee with a large package, was the icing to the newly baked cake of challenges!
Our living abroad, for the obvious reasons, was very challenging to say the very least! I must say that having a great husband did lighten the difficulties of our strenuous position. True love does conquer all! After several years of numerous trials and at times serious desperation, I began to connect with God and my faith in a way I had never experienced before. It was the catalyst that proved to ignite the "real" transformation in my life! After a divine appointment with a church in Arizona, my husband and I were trained up and ordained as Pastors and asked to start a church in Germany. During our ministry, I began encountering many women with self-esteem issues, in which I seen obvious patterns that were very comparable to mine! These women with self-esteem issues ALL had problems with unworthiness, little or no confidence and lacked the ability to think positive. I found myself counseling these broken ladies on a regular basis. However, the women I was encountering were not only Germans, they came from all different countries around the world! During our travels to other countries, such as Malaysia and Spain, I was faced with the same endeavors. I quickly began to recognize that this is a worldwide problem! Women across the globe are faced with the same feelings of unworthiness, low confidence and low self esteem. Everywhere I turned, I was mentoring and encouraging women!
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"She possesses a sincerity that is birthed from a place of the knowledge of the Word of God."
- Marie P. (CA, USA)
- Marie P. (CA, USA)
My revelationAnd then one day it hit me! I got a revelation, "I have not gone through all of the difficulties in life for nothing! Everything was not in vain!" My calling started welling up inside me,.. And I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that it is and always was my task in this life, to lead the many misguided women in the discovery of their true being, ushering in truth, courage and confidence. This IS our birth right! We, women, deserve to live life to our full potential, with boldness and fearlessness, in who we truly are and are called to be!
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