Marriage is sacrifice. I don't care what anyone says. It is ALL about give and take. Or should I say, give and give? And that give and give needs to go both ways if you are going to have a successful marriage. I know so many of you, you are asking, "Sacrifice? Why should I be willing to sacrifice anything to please someone else?" But once you decide to get married you become one unit, one body, one soul. What is really trending right now, is the focus on self...
I do agree that we need to be very confident in who we are and what we are. But if you focus primarily on yourself, while being married, your marriage is bound to fail. I truly believe this is the biggest reason for divorce today.
Compromise and Compromise
There are so many things that I believe we should not compromise on, but marriage unfortunately is not one of them. To have a healthy marriage, both people need to come into agreement on things that matter the most and be fully committed to one another. After living in Europe for many years, I learned that the idea of marriage is frowned upon. So many couples David and
I have known, have lived together unmarried for many years. They live in a way that their lives, decisions and finances are separate. Each living for themselves and not making a full commitment to each other. And ironically enough, when they do decided to say, "I do" they are typically divorced within a year! We have seen this happen over and over! I believe that once married, they keep their old mindset of living individually and therefore the marriage covenant cannot be adhered to.
Do the hard things
I have to say that one of the biggest compromises I made in my marriage was moving to a foreign country shortly after I said, "I do". It was nothing like I thought it was going to be. Being an American, sorry to say, we have very narrow-minded thinking, assuming the rest of the world is like our America! That everyone speaks English, the houses are the same, rules and laws are the same and the people are the same. I mean, after all, America is made up of a lot of Germans, right??!! Well, did I get a rude awakening! The only thing that was similar to America is that there is McDonald's and KFC! The 13 long years I spent there was absolutely a challenge and a compromise. I had to learn and adjust to a new language, culture, and way of life. NOT easy!
The years spent in Germany were at times almost impossible to bare. My marriage could have very easily led to separation and divorce. In fact, this has happened to many multicultural families we know, that have lived in Germany. But I can say in all honesty, that the love and commitment that my husband and I share, kept us together. And it keeps us going strong today. I'm not saying that we always meet eye to eye on issues and decisions, and I'm talking about BIG decisions! But, we are committed to each other and to making our marriage work, NO MATTER what it takes!
With Love and Blessings,