THE "PERFECT" FAMILY
It's said, that you can't judge a book by it's cover. In other words, you can't always judge someone by what you see from the outside. I can't tell you how many times people have made comments to my husband David and I about what a wonderful life we have and how perfect they believe our family is. The “perfect” little family with the Pilot husband, the American wife and the beautiful kids. While people only see the outside there's so much more behind the person, or should I say the family...
Our not-so perfect backgrounds
Life for us was not a cake walk. We had major challenges that were at times unbearable! We're talking about different cultures, a different country, a different language, extremely different weather (from 99% sunny Phoenix to 99% rainy North Germany), an age difference (me being 9 years older), an unaccepting family, 3 step kids, and 2 more kids together to boot!
David came from a humble missionary family that didn't have much. His childhood was very difficult due to frequent moves, abuse and a strained family relationship. His determination combined with self-sacrifice and a constant seeking after his father's approval motivated him to push through flight school (not a rich family as most people assume). But that's a story for itself!
Then there was me... I came middle-class parents that were nearly fifty when they adopted me. The feeling of being odd and having rejection issues haunted me throughout the years. I became self-destructive and wound up in abusive relationships while trying to fit in and figure out who I really was. As and adult I worked hard for what little I had, while trying to raise a family and take care of an ill mother. And this went on for years!
A recipe for disaster
David and I met in 2001 and it was love at first sight! We married a year later and then the fun really began! To start with, David inherited 3 young, hurt girls from my previous life. Now, add a move to what was for me a foreign country where I felt very alone, not having a friend or a family member that I could turn to for several years, let alone knowledge of this crazy language called German. Plus, there was David's family that were against our marriage. Don't leave out his flight training that would not be completed for another 6 months. In addition, there was our 3 week old colicky baby girl, Simona! Topped with having to leave my second daughter back in America with her father that refused to let me take her.
Sharing our story
Once hearing, just of a sliver of the hardships we'd endured, the picture perfect family bubble quickly bursts. The people that we are compelled to share our story with, are typically left speechless. And although it's been tough, it's also been wonderful! It's been the hardest but most rewarding part of my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world! Not sure if David would agree ;)
My main point that I want to share with you is that, you might see someone where you're thinking, WOW!!!... Those people really have it together! They are the lucky ones... The blessed ones... The chosen ones... And yes, I can say we are lucky, blessed and chosen for a purpose. However, the good life that we enjoy now didn't just fall into our laps! It took a lot of hard work, compromise, sacrifice, love and forgiveness to get where we are today. AND I must mention the restoration of David's family has also taken place! Of course, we look back now and know that God was there leading and guiding us even when we weren't in a relationship with him through the first half of our marriage. He is the #1 reason for our victory! But as perfect as things might look to others, we STILL have to work at it! It's an ongoing job to keep a marriage and a family strong. We're far from perfect and sometimes we do have our blow outs. But as the old song from the 70's goes, by Captain and Tennille, "Love will keep us together!" And it has up until today! NOW, our passion and our goal in life to is share what we can with others; to assist and encourage those that just might need a little help along the same lines as what we went through. We understand life is really really crazy at times and sometimes doesn't make much sense. However, our job on this earth is to be there for others. And by sharing our testimony, we can be empowered to overcome anything! Rev. 12:11
"May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you." Psalm 20:1
With Love and Blessings,